Head of household, period.

God created man first, and he is to be head of the household, period (Ephesians 5:22-24). To the ladies, that may sound harsh and maybe even unfair, but we must understand what God expects of man as the head of the household before we get too upset. And to the guys, it might sound like we get to be the “boss,” but before we allow ourselves to be carried away to a place God never intended, we too must understand what it means to be head of the household.

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself up for her…”

That changes everything. If we are to be a husband who is pleasing to God, we must love our wives in the same way Jesus loved the church. This immediately changes the perception many people have about headship, it’s not a control thing or a power grab, at least it shouldn’t be, if done Jesus’ way. Jesus loved His church and because of His love, He…

Made Sure His Bride Was Spiritually Fed – Jesus spent his entire ministry teaching His bride. As the head of our household, we have a responsibility to spiritually nourish our wives and children. In order to do this, we must first spiritually nourish ourselves by studying the word of God on a daily basis (Acts17:11). If we do not feed ourselves spiritually, we cannot keep our family from suffering spiritual malnourishment. Jesus understood His sheep needed protection, and he was the protection (John 10:7-11). In the same way, we must feed our family from His word, and protect them from the ravenous wolves of this world.

Encouraged His Bride – Our wives are not perfect, and we should not expect them to be. As Christian husbands we should be experts at seeing the positives instead of focusing on the negatives. Wives worry about a good many things; often times these worries can be eased with a little encouragement. One of the many things which I can improve on is the amount of encouragement I offer to my wife. Take the time to notice when she dresses nicely, and tell her that you like how she looks! When she goes out of the way to do something nice for us, be thankful instead of having an attitude of expectation. When she is having an emotionally tough day, pick her back up, Jesus encouraged his disciples, so too we should encourage our wives (John 14:1-4).

Gave Himself Up For Her – Jesus Christ gave His life for His bride and so should we. If we love our wives as Jesus loved the Church we are to put her needs and best interests above our own. This is an all encompassing lifestyle. Yes, this includes being a partner to her in housework, in raising your children, and in all other aspects of life, you two are now one (Mark 10:7-8). There were times in Jesus ministry where He just wanted to be left alone (Matthew 14:13-14), but He was needed, and He met those needs. In all honesty, there are times when we would rather be left alone, but we are needed by our spouse, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We are to put ourselves second and meet her needs as often as we can.

Being a Christian husband is not easy; God never promised it would be. Being a Christian husband is a great responsibility illustrated by the comparison of Christ and the church. Husbands, let us each strive to love our wives in the way Christ loved his bride and encourage one another in doing so.